Sam's Diary
by MustBeDreaming13
Summary: Sam got a diary for her birthday...and she likes writing in it. But don't tell anyone that! Tons of humor, tons of Sam, and Seddie in some chapters because I just love Seddie.
1. The Diary

Dear Diary,

I hate this. My mother gave me you for my birthday. I hate _you._ She says I need to right down my "feelings" so I won't get as angry. Whatever that means. So, what should I say? Hm, I'm kind of hungry. But I'm too lazy. I'll get Carly to do it. Be right back…

She said to make myself my own dang sandwich, but then I threatened to tell everyone at school she wears a helping bra. She's making it as we speak. Oh, if you hadn't noticed I'm at the Shay's apartment right now. Like when am I ever not? It's like a home away from home. Actually, it _is _home. Most of the time, anyway. So, where were we? Hm, well, there was me hating you and then there came food…I guess I should tell more about myself. I'm Samantha Puckett, but _no one _can _ever _call me Samantha or else they'll get a serious wedgie. I like Sam. Mostly because it rhymes with ham. Isn't that awesome? Anyway, I got my sandwich. Ew, it tastes like socks! Dirty ones. Oh well, at least its food. I should tell you about my friends. I don't have many, really. My only true and best friend is Carly Shay. She's the coolest and loves me even though I'm a bad person. She sees the value in me as a person unlike other people do. She's popular, pretty, and smart. Everything boys like. I'm not a loser I'm just not popular like Carly is. I'm not pretty. At least I don't think so. I don't really care anyway. And I am most definitely not smart. I hate school. Once I thought about lighting up the school. But that means _another _year of jail. Oh well. I'm done with that dirty sock sandwich now. God it tasted horrible. Well, I am full which is good. I get angry when I don't get my ten meals a day. It gets pretty ugly. I usually take it out on Freddork. Whose Freddork you ask? Oh well, he's a dork obviously. His real name's Freddie or Fredward. What a stupid name. Fredward. I prefer to call him Freddork, Fredweird, Frederly, and other ones I can't think of at the moment. I'm too tired. I really should…

Yawn. I fell asleep. There's drool all over you now. Oh well. It's three in the morning here at the Shay's house. Hm, what was I talking about before? Oh yeah, Frederly. Well, he's a dork, tech geek, really smart, obsessed with Carly, and iCarly's tech weenie. Oh yeah, we also do a web show iCarly, Carly and I. Freddie just stands behind the camera and does all the technical stuff. What else is there about Freddie? Well, we kissed once, but it meant nothing. We just did it to get it over with. What?! I do not like him! Wait, you didn't ask me anything. You're just a stupid diary. Ah well. What's that noise? I hear a noise. Someone's coming…

Oh, speaking of Fredward here he is. We're supposed to be doing "Wake Up Spencer" tonight. It's so funny we get him to do all this crazy stuff in his sleep. I'll tell you about it when we're done…

Ok, so we did it and it was hilarious! It went like this…

"Spencer, why are you eating a hobo?!" I ask.

"What?! I'm so sorry hobo! I didn't mean to eat you! Here, have your toe back," Spencer says.

"But you can't give it back! It's making its way to Mexico!" Freddie said, laughing.

"No! Bad toe! You'll be an illegal toe if you go there! The hobo needs you!" Spencer yells, swatting at the air.

"Oh, too late. The toe's wearing a sombrero and eating enchiladas," I say.

"No, enchiladas are bad for you! They make you gassy!" Spencer whines.

"Oh no, the toe blew up from the enchiladas. It farted too much. Guess you'll have to give the hobo another toe," Freddie says, chuckling.

"Here have my toe, hobo," Spencer says, biting his toe. "Ow! It tastes like enchiladas!"

"Oh no, enchiladas make you gassy. You're going to blow up, Spencer," Freddie says.

"No! I want to live and give the toe back to the hobo!"

"Too late. You're going to blow up. What are you're last dying words before you blow up?" I ask, amused.

"Stay away from enchiladas and never eat hobo's toes!" he yells and then collapses back on his bed. Freddie and I broke into hysteric giggles.

It was so funny! Spencer is very amusing in his sleep, not that he isn't amusing when he's awake either. He's just a little odd. Hey, but that's Spencer, the odd art freak guardian of Carly Shay. He's awesome though. He gave me ham for my birthday.

Fredweird is still here, packing up all his tech weenie stuff. I'm tired. Freddie is gone. My cell's buzzing. He texted me saying I did a good ob on the show. Whatever. I text back saying I know I did good and I did better than him and all those other verbal abusive stuff I say to him to make him cry. He's never really cried just gets really angry and annoyed. When I'm physically abusing him though, well, yeah, he does. Like a little baby. Ha ha. I know. I'm mean. That's just who I am. Well, it was nice talking to you. Me talking more than you because well, you're a diary. Maybe I should do this more often. But if you tell anyone I like writing in a diary you're dead! Oh wait, you can't, you're a diary. Whatevs.


	2. Secret Admirer

Dear Diary,

Why do we even start off as "Dear Diary" anyway? It's kind of stupid if you ask me. It's not like we're writing a letter or anything. You know what? I'm going to say something else before I write in you. I'm going to say "What's a happen, diary?" It's more…me. Sam. Which rhymes with ham like I said before. Anyway, let's see, maybe I should tell you about my day. It was a very productive one if you ask me.

My alarm woke me up at 6:30. I smashed it with a hammer. Then my mom yelled at me around 7:00 that if I didn't get up I'd have to give her cats a walk. I quickly got up, but then tripped over a big pile of clothes. I laid in the stench ridden clothes for what seemed like an eternity. I was too lazy to get up. When I finally did I put on some random clothes, smelling them to check if they were clean…enough. Then I brushed my unruly mess of hair and _tried_ to brush my teeth. It fell in the toilet. Oh well, I didn't feel like brushing my teeth anyway. Instead I popped several tic tacs in my mouth and headed to school. I walk to school. It's pretty nice. I have some alone time. Sam needs alone time. Sam especially needs it in the morning. When I arrived at school I did the usual. Said "hi" to Carly, ate a Fat Cake, teased Freddie a bit, bullied some kids including Freddie, and did my best not to do school. See, its hard work to be me.

It all changed at lunch though. Freddie kept on rambling on and on about his new computer which isn't anything new. But then the queerest thing happened. I got a note from a kid. Probably in seventh grade at the oldest.

"It's not from me," he said, throwing it at me and then running away.

"What is it?" Carly asked, peaking over my shoulder.

"Don't know. Don't care," I said, flicking it at Freddie's head.

"Ow!" he yelped, rubbing his head.

"That did not hurt," I stated.

"Yes it did!" he whined. What a baby. Oh brother, now he's opening the note. His face is wrinkling up. He looks sick. Hey, I think I want to see this note if it bothers Freddie. I snatched it from his hand and started reading it. Here's what it said:

_Dearest Sam, _

_I watch you walk the halls of Ridgeway in your confident strut like you own the world. Your hair made of golden locks, like Rapunzel ready to come down from her tower. I love the way your eyes shine when you laugh and every word that you utter. I really like you, Sam. Try to figure out who I am and maybe you can be my girlfriend. _

_Love,_

_Your Secret Admirer_

My mouth hung agape, staring at the note. I, Sam Puckett, have a secret admirer? This was unbelievable. But who could it be? I could never tell by the handwriting because it was typed. Carly grabbed the note from my hand, my previous expression still plastered on my face. Carly squealed. I'm guessing she read it.

"Oh my gosh, you have to figure out who this guy is!" she says, jumping up and down.

"Slow your roll. It could be a joke," I say. It probably is now that I think about it. I mean, who would like me?

"Joke or no joke we still have to find out who it is. I'll help you."

Before I could say anything I was being dragged off to the library. What a dreaded place. It was too stuffy and old and filled with boring books about dead people. Carly started going through the list of boys. I nodded even though I wasn't paying any attention. I could care less. Sure, I wanted a boyfriend, but this guy sounds like a total dud. And I think I might like someone else… No, it is not Freddie! Oh, you didn't say anything. Arg. This is very frustrating. I keep on dumping out my secrets in you. I guess that's what you're supposed to do in diaries. But still, it's hard enough saying it in here. Imagine what it would be like saying my secret out loud? That would be brutal. But that's pretty much what happened today. Right now I'm eating chicken and watching Girly Cow with Freddie while Carly's in the shower. I think she's _singing_ about my secret admirer. Weird…

Speaking of Freddie, he looks weird. Not that he isn't already, but he looks weird weird. Ever since that note I got he's been so quiet. I threw my chicken bone at him. He rubbed his head and yelled at me something like I was a delinquent and should learn how to handle my food better. I shrugged. I was just checking. Oh well, I should probably go now because I think Spencer's making spaghetti tacos. Yummy. My stomach's growling just at the thought of it. Too bad you're a diary. You've never tasted Spencer's spaghetti tacos or food for that matter. That must really suck. Oh well, sucks for you!


	3. Flames Come Alive

Hey, what's a happening, diary?! Yeah, that's my own personal greeting. So anyway Carly and I have been trying to figure out who my secret admirer is. More her than me. Actually, all of her. I just sit in a chair, eating fat cakes and watch her go on and on about who it might be. Seriously, it gets boring after a while. I think I feel asleep during one of these "sessions". Anyway, right now I'm at the Shay's house making pizza. Carly and Spencer went out to the grocery store to get salad. Ugh, who needs salad anyway? It's so…_healthy_. I think I just shuddered.

But I love pizza. My favorite is the Meat Lover's. What else would it be?! I think Carly and Spencer are back… Oh, its just Fredwina. Ha, that's my new nick name for him. Don't you just love it? I'm wondering what he's doing here. Shouldn't he be getting his daily tic bath right now? I ask him if he got his tic bath. He gives me a look and a grunt. Well, then. I was just asking. I asked him why his anti-bacterial underwear is in a bunch. Still no answer. Just a nasty look. Now he's eating a piece of pepperoni off the pizza! This has to be stopped!

Ok, I'm back. Freddie's face is now covered with pizza sauce and dough. Hey, I had to get him back for eating that pepperoni. Nobody eats mama's pepperoni. Hold on, I have to put the pizza in the oven…

Sorry it took so long. Something….came up. No I did not kiss Freddie! Wait…you didn't ask that. Ok, fine! We kissed! I am not telling you how! Fine, I'll tell you! Sheesh.

Freddie was still moping around, just sitting on the couch watching the MMA fights. Oh man, do I _love _the MMA fights. I decided to sit down and watch it with him since I didn't have anything else to do.

"No, Gibson, you can't do that! He's totally going to pin you if you do that! God, that was a stupid move!" I yell at the screen. Suddenly, I feel like I'm being watched by a certain pair of chocolate brown eyes. I turn to look at him. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing," he replies, snapping back to reality.

"You're weird."

"You're gross."

"You're a dork."

"You're a delinquent."

"I hate you."

"I hate you!" he yells with force.

I was taken aback by shock for a moment, but then gathered myself. "Whatever, dork."

"No, I do! Really! You're so unorganized, impolite, insulting, and self-absorbed! All you care about is yourself!"

"Thank you," I reply, not dazed a bit.

"You just don't get it, Sam!"

"Get what? That nobody will ever love you? I get that," I say, staring at the TV.

"No, that…that…" he stutters.

"There's no need to stutter, Frederly."

He glares a little and then says, "Ah, forget it."

"Sure thing." I could care less about what he was going to say.

We sit there in silence for what seems like ages. Finally, the oven lets out a "ding!", signaling that the pizza's done. I was about to get up when I feel something warm on my lips. There are lips on my lips…Freddie's lips! My first instinct is to pull away, but…I decide not to. I like it. I like the feel of his lips on mine. I kiss him back. I wrap my arms around his neck. He places his hands on my waist. And it feels…right. In some odd freakish way. I was so lost in Freddie kissing me that I didn't realize the smoke that was rising above our heads. Then the smoke detector goes off. That's when we pull apart, coughs taking over our lips instead of what was happening previously. I cover my mouth so I wouldn't breath in the smoke. The door swings open, Spencer yelling, "Fire! Oh my God, fire! Aaaaaah!!!" He starts running around in circles, his arms flailing every where. Carly comes in and doses the fire with white foam. I couldn't tell what it was from my view so at first I thought it was whip cream. My stomach starts to growl at the thought. The fire went out,, returning everything to normal, except for Spencer who was still running in circles.

"That's the last I have Sam cook here," I hear Carly mutter, wiping up the mess.

I looked at Freddie. He looked back. We didn't know what to say. My stomach is still growling and the smoke detector is still blaring filling the silence between us.

Well, that's pretty much it. He left after that. He didn't even say good-bye. And _he's_ the one that kissed me. I hate guys. I'm wondering why he kissed me. Did he get abducted by aliens during the night and take out his brain? That could explain the stuttering and random kiss. Oh well, now I am very confused. I don't like being confused. This is the reason why I don't do school. My lips are vibrating which is very odd. It's not like we haven't kissed before. But this one was…real. Which kind of scares me. But Sam Puckett is never scared! Sigh. Well, I'm still hungry. The pizza is burnt so instead we had a sandwich and salad. It wasn't very appealing, but I ate it anyway. Man, I need a snack. Oh, I know…Fat Cake! Mmmm, it's so good. This is the reason why I love food…it's the answer to all my problems. Unlike you. You're not helping me very much. Maybe I shouldn't write in you anymore. Nah, I think I'll keep you. At least it gives me something to do. Well, I'm going to go to bed now. This day has been very tiring. I guess I'll just say……….

Note/ as you know Sam feel asleep. Well, I hope you liked that chapter! I'm doing my best to keep it Sam-ish. Tell me what you think!


	4. Fredwina, kabobs, and sculptures

Hey, what is hanging, diary?! I am so bored. I'm at my house right now…for once. Ew! My mom's stupid cat is getting hair all over me! She really needs to get rid of these cats. She has thirty. You always find hair balls lying on the floor and the smell of cat urine hidden in the carpet. That's why I do my best to never be here. It's a nightmare.

I texted Freddie today. Our first conversation since the…incident. Here's how it went…

**Freddie: Sam we need to talk**

**Sam: so talk**

**Freddie: well see i kissed you**

**Sam: i am aware of that**

**Freddie: i think it was a mistake**

**Sam: i do too**

**Freddie: so um are we friends?**

**Sam: we never were**

**Freddie: right**

**Sam: right**

**Freddie: well see ya later**

**Sam: see ya Fredweird**

I completely and totally lied in that text message if you haven't noticed. Sigh. I don't think it was a mistake. Apparently he does though. I should forget about him anyway. He's just a stupid dork who likes stupid tech stuff. It was just a stupid kiss to go along with his stupid boyish ways. Of course, he isn't really much of a boy now is he? All of it was just stupid. Of course, that's it. There's a stain on the page. I think its water. Huh, I wonder where that came from. Oh, I checked. It's coming from my eyes. That's odd. The water stopped. I wonder where all that came from.

Anyway I'm going over to Carly's in a few minutes to do iCarly. Talk to you later!

I'm at Carly's right now. We just finished iCarly. I'm eating a fruit kabob. Yummy. It's juicy. I like juicy. Carly and I are sitting on the couch watching Girly Cow. Freddie's in the chair. Thank God. I do not need to be sitting by the dork right now. I'm mad at him for being, well, him. And what he did. It's on a commercial right now. Carly's trying to start up a conversation. I think she knows were not talking to each other. By not talking to each other I mean not fighting. Her first word was "so". I give Carly an award for trying. I'm in the kitchen now. I got up to save myself from being dragged into a conversation I do not want any part of. Oh, great. Carly followed me. She's talking about the secret admirer. I so do not want to think about boys. They're stupid. But she keeps on going even though I'm ignoring her and writing in you. I just hear, "Blah blah blah. Blah blah. Blah." Anyway, so what else is new? Hm, I got a pet fish. I named him Ham. He doesn't do much. I tried to teach him a few tricks, but all he does is look at me like I'm crazy. He doesn't do anything but swim, eat, swim, sleep, swim, eat, sleep, swim, sleep. It kind of sounds like me except for the swimming part. I'm figuring he's going to die with in four to six days. At the most. I think Carly's mad at me. She's giving me this look. She's telling me to stop writing in my diary. Seriously, she says. She asks if I'm writing down what she's saying. I don't give a reply. I'm still writing. So where was….

I am so mad at Carly! She snatched you away from me! Just snatched it! But you're okay now. You are no longer in the mean lady's hands. I think she's mad again. I think she's jealous of you. Imagine that, Carly jealous of a diary. Ha. That makes me smirk a bit. She locked herself in the bathroom. A little worked up now, are we? Oh well, it's just me and you. Well, except for Fredward in the other room, but I think he's watching some stupid documentary on the end of the world. Who cares about the end of the world anyway? I'm still living! What's to worry about as long as there's still food? Speaking of food my kabob is gone. I need more food. Be right back.

I'm happy now. I got some ham to eat to keep myself satisfied for the time being. Oh my God, this is so good! It had this sweet taste to it. I think Spencer put pineapple on it. Good idea, Spence! Ugh, Freddie came in the kitchen. He's sitting down. What does he want? He's talking. I'm not listening. He said that we need to talk. For real. Ok, maybe I was listening, but I was trying not to! Ugh, I guess I have to say something to him. At least to get him off my back. I'll write later…

Wow, that was short. Shorter than I thought. Five minutes at the least. Here's how the conversation went…

"Sam, we need to talk," he tells me.

"You said that last time. We talked then. Talking is over with and done," I reply coolly.

"I think I was wrong. I mean, it wasn't a mistake. At least I don't think so."

"Why do you always have to think? God, you always have to use your brain. You don't have to think everything through, you know?"

"I know, but I don't know any other way to deal with this."

"Deal with what? The kiss? Look. You're the one who kissed me."

"But you kissed me back, didn't you?" he asks a little unsure.

"Yeah, so?"

"You kissed me back," he states, a smile playing upon his lips.

"Yeah, maybe I did. I mean, I hate you so what else was I supposed to do?"

"By you saying you hate me you mean you like me, right?" Freddie asks his smile widening. He thinks he's figuring me out, solving the clue no one has figured out yet.

"No."

"Oh, sorry for me being mistaken."

"You're not forgiven," I reply, keeping my composure.

He frowns. And then he left.

I don't think I like him anymore. I shouldn't. Oh, I hate thinking. It's such a burden. Freddork left the apartment, finally. Carly's upstairs in bed. Now I'm lying on the couch, writing in you. I think Carly's temper blew over. At least I hope so. It's not always a pretty sight when Carly's mad. Maybe even worse then when I get mad…nah, she's not that bad. But close. Hey, Spencer's home! Spencer is always great company when I'm confused. Okay, this is weird. He has a naked woman manikin under his arm, a garden hose, and a big bucket of orange paint. I really don't want to know. I guess I'll just go to sleep now. I guess not. Spencer's asking me to help do his sculpture…whatever that is. Be right back.

We're done! Wow, that took a long time. It was so much fun! You want to know what kind of sculpture it is? No, I really don't think you want to know. Not even a diary could handle it. I'm covered in orange paint. I don't feel like taking a shower. That sculpture making made me really tired. I think I'll just…..


	5. Ham and a kiss

Ugh, I am so not saying a greeting this time. I'm too tired. Also, I'm too sad. Wait, did I, Sam Puckett, just say I was sad? The only time I ever got sad was when I had to take that dreaded job at "Chili My Bowl". That was _such _a depressing job. Did you know they made me clean the men's bathroom? I still have nightmares from that.

Anyway we found, as we I mean Carly, found out who my secret admirer is. Guess who it is? No, really guess. I knew would never figure…wait…you're right. It is Reubon. Oh my gosh, do I hate Reubon. And I do mean hate. More like despise. He uses all these non-sense phrases that no one ever seems to get except Gibby. Of course Gibby is a no one so in other words no one gets what Reubon's saying. And he stares at me with these googly eyes and says to me that you can't eat a pickle until you put on your jelly. What does that even MEAN?! He speaks gibberish which is a language I can not understand. Anyway, you're probably thinking Carly must be happy and proud of herself for finding out who the secret admirer is. Well, yeah, she is. She was jumping all around, saying, "You're going to thank me one day for this!" And then she set up Pete and I on a date. Honestly, I don't think that day's ever going to come. And if it does then tie me up in a rope and drown me in peanut butter! Oh God, it's starting to rub off on me. This has to stop! Oh, and the date's tonight. Reubon better not be such a nub tonight or else I'm going to throw my food at him. And that's saying a lot because I never waste food.

I'm at Carly's right now. She's helping me get "ready". I don't get what she means by that because ready to me is throwing on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. I think that's why she's the one picking out what I should wear. I hope it's nothing pink. Oh, here Carly is! Oh God, it is pink. Hold on one moment…

I'm back. The pink is gone. It took a lot of arguing and spit, but I think I got through to her. She got something yellow. Well, at least it isn't the dreaded color pink. No, she has skirt! I'm telling her there is no way I'm wearing a skirt. She's telling me that if I don't she'll….

I'm in the skirt now. Sigh. Carly is a very good persuader. Or manipulator. I can't decide. I'm wearing this frilly yellow shirt, a denim skirt, and white leggings. My hair is in a bun also. Carly insisted that I put my hair up. Whatever. Now Carly's coming over with something behind her back. I wonder what it is. Wait a minute….

She attacked me with make-up! Of all the things she would do to me I never thought she would stoop so low. She locked the bathroom door and took away every paper product in sight. I look down at my hands, a sly grin spreading across my face. Hm, this could work…

Ah! Carly attacked me before I even touched my face! Dang, she has quick reflexes. This is very bad. I need ham now. I need ham to calm my urge to do something very bad to Carly. She's upstairs now so I guess I can just raid her fridge while she's up there. Besides she'll never know. Be right back…with ham of course…

Okay, sorry about that. The dork came in. Here's how our conversation went…

"Hungry?" he asks. I didn't even know he had come in.

"Yeah, what's it to ya?!"

"Nothing. Geez, no need to be so snappy."

"Sorry," I say and actually meaning it. Wow, that's a first.

Freddie also seems taken back a little bit. "It's okay. So, uh, big date tonight?" he says, pointing at my attire.

"Yeah. Carly set me up on a date with my "big" secret admirer," I say, rolling my eyes.

"Really? Who is it?"

"Take a wild guess."

"Oh my God, really? Reubon Worshester?!" he says, trying to contain himself but then starts laughing.

"It is not funny," I say through gritted teeth.

"Actually it kind of is," he says, a grin plastered on his face.

I glare at him and then go back to eating my ham. His smile fades away after a moment of silence. He looks at me curiously.

"What?" I ask my mouth full of pig.

"Did you like that kiss?" he asks all of a sudden.

"No," I say too quickly.

"Are you sure?"

"Um, yeah."

"Positive?"

"Like a pregnancy test."

I notice he's backed me up against the refrigerator. I can feel his breath against my forehead. Man, he's gotten really tall. There's no way out. I don't think I care though because I'm not squirming or struggling for a way out. And then he kisses me, pressing my body against the fridge. He places his hand on my cheek, making my face blush at the slightest touch. I wrap my arms around his neck, entangling my fingers into his hair. I push him back to the island, kissing him with every thing I was feeling at the moment. Our lips were working in motion, everything else in the world just…gone. Not there, like we were the only people in the world. When I realize how serious it's getting I pull away, gasping for air. Freddie is gasping for air too, but he has a big smile on his face.

"Yeah, I'll take that as a no," he says, his face glowing.

I try to glare at him, but I don't. I'm staring at the floor, my mind going all fuzzy. What had just happened? Well, we had kissed. And not like just a small kiss, but almost to making out mode.

"Sam, are you okay?"

"I, uh, I got to go. You know, for the date," I say, even though it's not what I want to say.

A frown places the beaming smile and he says stiffly, "Okay, fine. Good bye."

And then he's gone. Freddie's been leaving a lot lately. Of course this time I had pretty much told him to leave. I am so confused. I'm supposed to be hating Freddie. I mean, Freddork. Urg, I am so confused. Did I tell you I hate being confused? Well, I do. Very much so. Well, I have to go for my date now even though I really don't want to.

The date was horrible just as expected. At least the food was good. That's all that really matters. I am so wiped out. I don't even want to move to the couch. I'm still at the kitchen table. Carly must be tired too because she didn't even come down and ask how the date was. Some friend she is. I want a pillow really bad. Hm, the fruit bowl looks like it might make a nice pillow. Ugh, it's kind of too round. Oh well. At least it's something. Did I tell you that one time where……


	6. The Plastic Couch

Guess where I am? No, really guess. Ha, you are so…right. Darn. I hate it when you're right. Well, I'm at Freddie's apartment right now. Yeah, I know horrible, right? And they don't have ham either! How much worse can this get? Well, the reason why I'm here is because Carly and Spencer went to Yakima to visit their grandpa. You know the one that does that weird belly thing, the one I borrowed money from, and ate his sandwich? Well, that's the one. My mom's not home. Something about needing to find her inner self. Whatever. Fredweird doesn't even know I'm here. My mom just dropped me off here and told Mrs. B she needed to find her inner self. I think Mrs. B almost passed out at that. She can't take weird people, er, people like me. Like my mom. Freddork just came in. He's staring at me, bug eyed. He looks like someone just took away his favorite teddy bear and dipped in gasoline, setting it on fire. Hey, that's not such a bad idea… Anyway, he's still staring. Okay, this has to stop. Be right back.

Here's how our conversation went…

"Hey, believe me I did not want to be here," I state, putting up my hands in defense.

"Then why are you here?" he asked, his eyebrow forming into a question mark.

"Because I have a sudden new love for your mom's plastic covered coaches," I said sarcastically, squirming around on the anti-bacterial couch.

"It's precautionary!"

I rolled my eyes. He could be such a dork. I can't believe I kissed him…twice! I got up and started raiding their fridge for the third time. There was nothing good, just low-fat sugar-free lemon squares and cucumber cups. His mom really needs to get a life. So does he.

I could feel him watching me as I picked up a carton of soy milk and tossing it into the trashcan.

"Really why are you here?" he finally asked.

"Something about my mom finding her inner self," I said, picking earwax out of my ear and flinging it to the side.

"Okayyy." He looked at the earwax laying on the island in disgust. He shook his head, looking back up at me. "So…what do you want to do?"

"I don't know, but you're not going to be any part of it," I said, trying to flop down on the plastic couch, but instead landing awkwardly, making my sides stiff. "You really need to get this covering off," I said, standing up again. Before Frederly could say anything I was already pulling the annoying plastic cover off the couch, making it bare, and non-plastic. Just the way I like it.

"Sam!" Freddie whined.

"Don't be such a girl, Fredwina."

He glared at me a bit and said, "My mom's going to be very angry at you."

"Does this face look like it cares?" I asked, pointing at my I-don't-give-a-crap look.

"No."

"Exactly. Why don't you just relax? Feel the softness of the cushions," I said, sprawling myself on the couch. I loved the feel of my body sinking into the cushions. It was relieving. I watched Freddie slowly sit his butt on the coach, sitting stiffly, his back straight and uncomfortable looking. "Come on, Benson. Just relax." I kicked his shoulder with my foot, sending him lying over the arm of the chair. He sat back up. Sigh. He's such a nub.

"Sam, you better put the covers back on," he said, trying to sound serious, but rubbing the arm of the chair like it was his new best friend.

"I better. But I'm not." I grabbed the chips I was eating earlier, putting my fingers in the bag, and feeling around for crumbs, a sly smile spreading across my face. I had an idea.

"No, Sam, don't!" Freddie yelled, panic taking over his relaxed face.

"Oh yes!"

I sprinkled the crumbs across the couch, watching Freddie's horrified face. This…was…priceless.

"Sam!" he cried, grabbing my wrist, pulling it away from the couch. I smirked at him, my eyes shining with evil. He looked back up into my eyes, his eyes a little worried. But our faces change. My smirk falls and his worry fades away. We're pulling toward each other, like a magnetic force pulling us together. No, this can't be happening. I can't keep doing this…

"No!!!!" I scream, jumping off the couch.

Freddie's face looked confused as I point at him and say, "You're a nub!"

Freddie stared blankly at me, looking utterly oblivious. Boys are such doosh-bags. Well, Freddie's a dork-bag, but whatever.

I left the apartment, slamming the door.

And that was it. This kissing thing needs to stop. I don't know where to go. That was just five minutes ago where I left randomly. I'm sitting outside Freddie's door. Sigh. Oh, no, here he is. He's telling me to come back in. He says he has ham. What?! That can't be true because I checked every where before! I tell him this. He says he has a special package in his room for just in case we have an earthquake or something and I'm having ham with drawl. I don't care what almost happened before I'm getting my ham! Yeah, baby! Well, I'm going to eat ham now…my own _special _ham.


	7. My Dead Fish and My Dork Boyfriend

I'm sorry diary for getting a stain on you. My eyes just can't stop this water that's coming from my eyes. Okay, okay, its tears, but I have a very good reason. My fish, Ham, died. I got very attached to him. I brought him every where with me: Carly's, the store, and school, when I went. He was such a well behaved fish. Never did he once argue with me…like someone else I know. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is I am very sad. Carly went to the store across the street to get me some ham to cheer me up. Speaking of which, I think Carly's back. Oh no, it's just Spencer. And he's carrying…a purple toilet? I really don't want to know. He also has a big, round fishbowl. Ham used to live in a fishbowl. I'm crying really hard now. Spencer looks worried. Possibly scared. He asks me if I want ham. I blubber something on the lines of Carly and ham. He nods and asks if I'm okay. I say no. He says oh. He looks nervous. I tell him he can leave and do his sculpture. He ass me if I want some fat-cakes before he leaves. I shake my head. He's gone. Oh no, Freddie's here. I think he can tell I was crying. Ugh, this is disgusting. I have snot running down my mouth. Freddie's staring at me. He looks worried too, but not as flustered as Spencer looked. He's sitting down. Oh God, what does _he _want? I'll write later…

Whew, that took a lot of time. Sorry. Well, here's what happened…

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," I mumbled.

He cautiously put a hand on my shoulder. "Come on, Sam, just tell me."

I rolled my eyes, exhaling. He could be _such _a dweeb. "My fish died."

"Ham?"

"No, my flying fish Dumbo," I said, sarcastically.

Freddie rolled his eyes. "Well, I'm sorry that your fish died."

"Really?" I questioned, looking up at him.

"Well, yeah, of course."

My eyebrows knitted together. Why does he care? He just kisses me, twice, and doesn't care. He just forgets about it. What could actually make me think that he cares?

"No, you don't," I stated.

Freddie looked surprised. "Um, yeah, I do."

"Nuh-uh"

"Uh-huh"

"Nuh-uuuuh."

"You sound like a toddler."

"So? Maybe I do. Got a problem with that?" I said, sticking my tongue out at him.

He chuckled in spite of himself. Ha, I loved it when I could make the dork laugh. He was smiling so wide and bright right now and I was just laughing because I could feel a bubbly happiness rising inside me. He made me happy. I don't know why, he just…did.

"Freddie?" I asked, a thought coming in my head.

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me," I demanded before I could stop myself.

Freddie looked at me curiously, but then he leaned in, just like I had taught him that long time ago on the fire escape. I took in a deep breath, trying not to gasp. Then our lips touched, sparks flying. I put my hand to his face as he placed his hands on my waist, pulling me closer. This was real. Not random and confusing like before. I smiled into the kiss, my happiness overflowing. We pulled apart, looking into each other's eyes.

"Freddie?" I said again.

"Yeah?" he asked, leaning his forehead against mine.

"I-I like you. A lot. And, well, I don't want to be confused anymore like I have been the past few weeks. So I just want to know…do you really like me?"

I held my breath as I waited for the answer. If he said no then I'd be fine, I would live. But if he said yes than I'd be overly fine.

"Of course I do, Sam. I like you so much. Man, you don't know how long I've wanted to say that," he said, grinning.

"Then why I didn't you?"

"I was always afraid you never felt the same way. It's really hard to tell with you, you know that?"

I smirked, as I leaned into kiss him, and whispered, "I guess I'm just hard to get." And then I kissed _him_. The first time I ever really kissed him. It felt good to do it on my own impulse. I heard a loud gasp then a squeal come from the other side of the room. I pulled away from Freddie and saw Carly jumping up and down and Spencer…well, he just looked dumbfounded.

"I…told…you!" Carly chanted in Spencer's face. "That will be twenty dollars, please."

"Aw man," he whined, reaching into his pocket and handing Carly a twenty. "You hormonal teens just couldn't wait a little bit longer!" Spencer yelled before running off to his room.

I bit my lip and asked curiously, "Um, what was _that _all about?"

"Spencer and I made a bet that you two would get together this week. He said in, like, a month, but not this week. But he was wrong. Now I've got twenty dollars!" she said, waving it in our faces.

"Wait…you bet that Freddie and I would get together?"

"Yeah, I mean, everyone knew it would happen someday."

I glanced at Freddie who had a grin on his face. Why is he grinning? This is not funny. I am actually sort of appalled that they would think I would date a dork. Not that I don't like Fredwina, but I mean, come on! Me, Sam Puckett, dating the biggest dork of all, Fredward Benson? Who thought that would happen? I sure didn't. He just looked at me with that smile and took my hand in his.

"Come on, let's go to the Groovy Smoothie and spend that bad boy!" Carly screamed, going out the door, leaving Freddie and I behind.

I looked at him. "You knew?"

"Hey, I'm just as shocked as you are."

"Then why are you grinning?"

"I just think it's funny that everyone else knew we were going to be together, yet we didn't."

"Oh yeah, it's hilarious," I said, rolling my eyes. I stood up, looking down at him. "Come on! Mama's getting hungry and you know what she gets like when she doesn't get her food."

He chuckled, shaking his head. I grinned to myself as I walked down the stairs, Freddie following suit. I think I just might like having a dork as a boyfriend.

And that's what happened. We're at Groovy Smoothie right now. I'm drinking Freddie's smoothie. Oh, you're wondering why I'm drinking Freddie's? Well, I didn't like mine so I asked Freddie for his. He said no. So I poured it down his pants. I think that talked some sense into him. Mmm, his smoothie is _really _good. Well, I go to go because this smoothie is just way too good and I think it needs all of my attention. See ya!


	8. Gummy Bears and Betting

Hey, what's a happening, diary?! Well, I have a lot going on. You would not believe who I'm dating. Guess. I knew you would never…wait, you're right. Uh, I hate it when you're right, which is pretty much all the time. Yes, I'm dating Freddie. Can you believe it?! I can't. It's like me not liking ham. It's like Gibby wearing a shirt when he's dancing. It's like Spencer being a lawyer. It's like…oh well, you get the point. Its different dating Frederly. More one on one. Wait, what? You thought I was going to stop calling him names? Ok, just because I'm now dating him doesn't mean I can't still torture him. Silly diary. What made you think I would stop torturing the dork? I guess you're not that smart after all. Oh, speaking of not being smart, he made a bet with me the other day. Here's how it went….

"Sam, get off me!" he screamed from under the infuriated blonde.

"Take it back!"

"No!"

"Yes! No one _ever_ calls me Samantha!" I yelled, twisting his arm. He yelped in pain.

"Ok, I take it back! I'm sorry!"

"Say that I am the king of the world."

"But you're a girl," Freddie argued.

I twisted his arm harder. "Say it!"

"Ok, ok! You're the king of the world."

"And what else?"

Freddie moaned before he said, "And you are my master."

I let go of his arm and then patted the top of his head. "Good boy," I said happily.

Freddie rolled his eyes and looked away from me, angry. I kissed him on the cheek sending Freddie's frown into a wide grin.

"How can I still like you when you torture me so much?" he asked before kissing me.

"Because if you didn't I'll give you a Texas wedgie," I said with a smirk.

Freddie laughed. "I believe that."

My stomach rumbled. "I'm hungry," I stated.

"What a surprise," Freddie joked.

I punched him in the arm. "Just go get me something to eat."

Freddie walked over to the kitchen cabinet's, obeying my order. I looked around the Benson apartment, taking it in. The plastic had been put back onto the couch making my butt very uncomfortable. I moved my butt around; trying to find a comfortable spot, but then gave up, failing to find the right support for my butt. Freddie came back into the room with a huge bag of gummy bears and a bowl of chips.

"Nothing else? Not even the ham you keep in your bedroom for me?" I asked a little dejected at the small amount of food.

"You ate it all."

"That's why you should learn to keep an extra one in your closet or something. You know, you're not as smart as everyone thinks you are," I said, crunching on a chip.

Freddie took a huge, deep and cleansing breath. It sounded like the one my therapist took when she was getting aggravated with me. Yeah, I go to a therapist now ever since my dad left me and my mom. I didn't choose to go, but my mom thought it would be "good for me" just like having a diary. Well, she got one thing right.

I popped a green gummy bear into my mouth and glanced over at Freddie who was staring at me.

"What?" I asked through a mouthful of gummy bears.

"I bet you I can fit more gummy bears into my mouth than you can," he said quickly, still staring at me to see if I would be up for the challenge.

"You are so going to loose, Fredward. When have you ever beat me? And also, I can fit _everything _in my mouth."

"You can't fit everything in your mouth," he said, not believing it.

"Oh yes I can. One time when I was bored I fit a whole pillow in my mouth."

"No you did not," he said wryly.

"Oh yes I did. You want me to show you?" I said, picking up the pillow behind me.

Freddie's face twisted. "No thanks."

I shrugged, propping the pillow behind my back.

"I still want to do this bet," he stated.

"Fine, but you will totally loose. What does the winner get?"

"Well, if you win I'll get you two new packages of ham."

"Nah, that already comes with me being your girlfriend. It's like a package deal. If I win you have to stand on top of the school building, holding the school flag," I said, a smile playing upon my lips.

"So?" Freddie said, getting a confused.

"You have to be _butt naked_," I said, my sly smile already spread across my face.

"Sam!" he whined.

"Freddork!" I whined back, mocking him.

He took another deep cleansing breath and said, "Okay, but if I win…" He stopped to ponder. He clicked his fingers and said brightly, "If I win you have to tell everyone in school you love me."

"Who said I love you?" I said rather quickly.

Freddie's face dimmed, making my heart break.

"I mean, you know, I don't like going too fast," I said, trying to repair the damage I already did.

Freddie nodded slowly. "Okay," he said, grinning. I knew that grin. It was his fake grin.

"Oh, God, Freddie why do you make me feel so stupid?" I said, rolling my eyes. I grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him in for a kiss. He kissed me back, making sparks fly.

I pulled away from him and said, "Okay, are you ready to start stuffing your face?"

We started grabbing handfuls of the colorful gummy bears and tossing them into our mouths. I looked at Freddie whose mouth was bulging. I laughed at him until I started choking on a gummy bear sending me into a coughing fit. All in the end I won. He fit twenty in his mouth and I fit thirty two.

So right now I'm writing in you and looking up at the school's roof at Freddie in all his glory. He's standing there, shaking and mortified, holding the school flag in front of…well, you know. I'm grinning my evil grin. I'm loving this. Kids are laughing at him and pointing at the poor dork, but that's not the reason why I'm loving this. I'm noticing the dork has a pretty cute butt. Don't tell anyone I said that! Oh, yeah, sorry. I forgot you can't. Well, I got to go and bring his clothes up to the roof. I hate to see it all end so fast.



Sorry I haven't been posting!!! I've been grounded…but not anymore!!!


	9. Author's Note

OK, so I don't usually do these. Actually this is my first EVER author's note…feel free to applaud. Now, I need some help for my next chapter. I can't think of a theme for it or how it will go. Maybe a twist? I already have in mind in later chapters that someone will read Sam's diary so we can't use that. Send me some messages and tell me what your idea is!

Your ever so loving Seddie fan,

Kppm13mylife


	10. Dreaded Sappiness and Broken Hearts

Diary, I'm sad. I've never been so sad before other than when my dad left us. Guess who broke up with me? No it was not…oh wait, you're right. Like always. Yeah, it was the dork. That stupid irritating know-it-all jerk that has no heart that I absolutely love. And he broke with me. Here's how it went…

"I can't believe you did this, Sam!" Freddie screamed, infuriated.

I gave him a doubting look. "You really can't believe I did this?"

"Well, yeah, I mean we're going out and I really didn't think you'd post a picture of me sucking on my thumb while in my footy pajamas and hugging my teddy bear all _over _the internet!"

"Well, you thought wrong, I guess. You shouldn't get your hopes up so high," I said, patting his shoulder.

He glared at me, his face turning beet red. "This is the last straw, Sam! I mean, I could take it when we weren't dating because it was totally harmless, but now we're dating and you keep doing it! You know how much of an impact this has on a guy my age?!" he yelled, jabbing his finger at the picture I had took of him and displayed on the World Wide Web.

"You'll get over it, Freddork," I said, chewing on a piece of ham.

"No, I won't, Sam! You can't keep doing this! It's like you don't care about my feelings at all!"

"What's your point?" I stated, looking up at the angry nerd. Boy, he could really get his anti-bacterial underwear in a bunch.

His face fell and suddenly he seemed so…serious. I mean, I know he was serious before about the picture and everything, but he looks like he's giving up…on something.

"I think we need to break up," Freddie said seriously.

I bit my finger accidentally while I was chewing on my ham. It was bleeding now, but I didn't care.

"You're just saying that," I said, hoping that was the case.

"No, I'm not, Sam. I can't take this anymore. We are through."

And then he left. No good-bye, no maybe we can work this out. Nada. I am so sad and my heart is hurting like it never has before. It aches like it needs something to fill it. I'm listening to my favorite song on my PearPod right now. Here's how it goes…

_Little girls don't know how to be sweet girls.  
Mama didn't teach me.  
Little boys don't know how to treat little girls.  
Daddy didn't show me._

Face down, on top of your bed.  
Oh why did I give it up to you?  
Is this how I shoot myself up high,  
Just high enough to get through?

Again, the false affection.  
Again, we break down inside.  
Love save the empty.  
Love save the empty, and save me.

Sad boy, you stare up at the sky  
When no one's looking back at you.  
You wear your every last disguise;  
You're flying, then you fall through.

Again, the false attention.  
Again, you're breaking inside.  
Love save the empty.  
Love save the empty, save me.  
Love save the empty.  
Love save the empty.

Stars feel like knives,  
They tell us why we're fighting.  
Storm, wait outside.  
Oh, love, hold us together.

Love, save the empty.  
Love, save the empty.  
Love, save the empty.  
Love, save the empty, and save me.  
And save me.

Won't love save me from this terrible pain going on inside of me? I feel so sappy right now. I hate sappy. Carly told me everything's going to be alright and there are other guys out there. But I don't want a guy…I want a dork! Uh, this is so tiring and frustrating. Whatever, I need ham now. See ya later…and hopefully I won't be as lovesick when I come back.

Author's Note: Ok, so I am obviously over the writer's block now. I will give you a moment of silence to clap.

Haha, anyway I would like to thank my friend for helping me get over my writer's block and this is partly her idea so I give her credit for this (and you know who you are!) You may applaud for her. Haha, anyway, there will be more very soon!


	11. Reubon's Saliva and Double Dates

I am so mad! Grrrr! Oh my gosh, diary, I am so sorry! I just ate a page out of you. Sigh. I can get really violent when I'm mad. I'm going on a date with Freddie! No, we're not back together! We're going on a double date…with who you ask? Oh, you don't know? Well, that's a first. Well, let's just start from the beginning…

I was just walking down the hallway eating a Fat Cake and just minding my own business when I see Valerie talking to the dork. My dork. She looked all smiley and giggly and just plain disgusting if you ask me. I think she was flirting or trying to at least. It made me want to gag. But then I notice the dork seems to b responding like he was flirting back. Ok, now this is weird, I thought. And then guess what the little tramp did?! She kissed him on the cheek! My dork's cheek! The one I had weeks ago planted one on! When I saw this I squished my Fat Cake, marshmallow oozing in between my fingers, but I didn't care. I did care that Valerie was flirting with Frederly. So guess who I went to for help? No, not Carly. I got Reubon. Yeah, I know, pathetic, but he was the only thing I had at the moment. I told him if he didn't kiss me right then I'd give him a serious wedgie. I don't think he would have _not _kissed me anyway. He still has this huge weird crush on me even when I didn't call him after the date and completely ignored him in the halls _and _started dating Fredward. So anyway he kissed me and I thought to myself why had I gotten myself into this? His lips were wet with saliva and he kissed me so hard my teeth started aching. So after a moment I pulled away from his lips, touching my teeth to make sure none of them were falling out. But then I looked over at Freddie. He was staring right at me. Jack pot. But then guess what he did?! He kissed Valerie! And then she did this weird little nibble on the bottom of his lip…tramp. So I grabbed Reubon's shirt collar and shoved him into the lockers and gave him a kiss he would never forget. I probably wouldn't forget it either, but in a different way then you'd think. So anyway this went on for a while and I was starting to get really disgusted by Reubon's lips. I finally pulled away and thought maybe I could say something to get Freddie jealous.

"Oh, Reubon you are _such _a good kisser. That was the _best _kiss I've _ever _had," I said loudly.

"I knew I was good at riding a scooter, but I never knew I could ride a bike so well," Reubon said, grinning that stupid grin.

I rolled my eyes and said, "Yeah, I guess you can." I wanted to smack the nub.

"Hey, Valerie, I was just admiring how you're so _charming _and _sensitive_. You're probably the best girlfriend I've ever had," he said, turning to smirk at me.

"I'm you're girlfriend now?! Oh yay!" she squealed, clapping her hands together and jumping up and down.

I rolled my eyes. "When has Valerie ever been sensitive? She's the one that used you to ruin iCarly!" I said through gritted teeth.

"Well, at least she doesn't make me stand on top of school buildings naked or post embarrassing pictures of me on the internet!" Freddie yelled.

"Well, at least Reubon loves me for who I am and accepts me!" I yelled back, stepping forward.

"Well, Valerie and I are going out on a date tonight! You know, the one we never went on because you were too embarrassed to be seen with me?!" he yelled, stepping forward as well.

"Oh, where are we going Freddie?!" Valerie asked excitedly, completely unaware of what was going on. She could be such a ditz.

"Yes, where are you two going?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

"Uh, we're going to, uh, that new restaurant. You know the one with the big salads and desserts."

"Well, I think Reubon and I would like to join you."

"We would?" he asked stupidly.

"Yes, now shut up before I smack you," I hissed back.

"Fine, then it's a double date then!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

I turned on my heel and walked off in a huff.

So that's how it ended. We're going on the double date tomorrow. I can not believe what I got myself into. Then again, I can. But guess what else? I have _another_ date with Reubon! I don't know if I will be able to survive another date with sayings like, "I might not know how to make a bunny hop, but I know how to make a chicken cluck, if you know what I'm sayin." Uh, he just drives me crazy! Oh, and Valerie! She's even worse! She'll be playing with Freddie's hair all night and making ditzy comments like, "What's Wal-mart? Is it a place where you buy walls or something?" She is so shallow and stupid. I know that sounds weird coming from a girl like me who never does school, but she's like blond at the roots or something. And I shouldn't be saying that because I'm blond, but at least I'm smarter than her. I just don't want to think about what's going to happen tomorrow night. I need food. I've been needing food a lot lately. Sigh. Well, I'm going to make myself a fruit kabob. Juicy fruit seems to make me feel better.


	12. I Love Big Salads and a Dork

What's a happening diary?! Well, right now, I'm getting ready for the double date and I mean actually _trying _to get ready for it. I'm not wearing anything pink or anything skirt like though. You can imagine what I'm wearing just to keep your imagination going. Oh wait…you don't have an imagination. Too bad. It helps me a lot during school to, you know, not pay attention. It's not that hard actually. I'm just so not ready for the double date. I hate Reubon and his stupid sayings. I also hate Valerie and her stupid flirty ways. I hate Freddie for being a jerk and breaking up with me. I've been hating a lot of people lately. Except you, diary, you're always there for me…even if you never respond I know you won't care if I dump out my secrets and feelings in you. I'm sort of glad we're going to that restaurant with the huge salads and cheesecakes. They're salads are even good! Maybe it's because they're in a large bowl and just fill me up with all its largeness. Well, Reuben's here…I dread what's going to happen.

I'm back! You want to know what happened?! Well, I would tell you anyway since you have no choice because you're a diary and all. Here's how it went…

We arrived at the restaurant at 6:00 and started with the big salads…my favorite. Everything was pretty much fine until Valerie offered Freducation some of her salad.

"Here, Freddie, try some of my salad," Valerie said, spooning it into his mouth. "Oh, wait, you got some ranch on your nose."

And then she kissed his nose! There is no way Valerie can kiss my dork's nose. So I grabbed Reubon by the shoulders and kissed him full on the lips. I wouldn't have kissed him if I knew he was in mid-chew of his salad. I pulled away, Thousand Island dressing dancing on my tongue. I wiped at my mouth, disgusted.

"No need to go bananas over the monkey," Reuben said stupidly.

I turned to glare at him. "I don't get you," I stated finally.

"Oh no, I totally get it. Sam, you really shouldn't have your hands all over him. It's not appropriate," Valerie said, tilting her head to the side.

It was now Valerie's turn to get glared at. "Look who's talking Miss Nibble on bottom of lips and kissing noses with dressing on them," I said angrily. I could feel a hot, tingly sensation forming on the back of my neck.

"That's a really long name," she said, blinking. She could be so stupid.

"How can you like her?!" I asked Freddie, turning to face him.

"Why? Are you jealous?" he asked with a smug look.

"No," I replied quickly.

I saw a glimpse of hurt pass over his face, but all of sudden it was gone, fading quickly. "Okay," he said, keeping his composure. When did he start turning into me all of a sudden?

Valerie shrugged her shoulders, ignoring what was going on around her, and took a heaping bite of her salad.

"I have to say, Valerie, you look as if a leprechaun captured you and gave you all his gold," Reuben complimented…I think.

Valerie blushed-actually blushed!-and twirled a strand of hair with her finger. "Oh, Reuben, you know how to make a girl feel special."

"Wait a minute," I said, pausing to point at Reuben, "you get him?! You get this bird-brain?!"

"He's not a bird-brain. Only birds have _bird-brains_," she said, rolling her eyes, as if it were obvious.

"Then again, I guess you two are perfect for each other," I said, leaning back in my chair.

"I think she's right," Valerie said, reaching across the table for his hand. "We are perfect for each other!"

"Come on, my egg on a sidewalk on a hot day," he said, getting up from the table. He went around and grabbed Valerie's hand; then they skipped out of the restaurant, living happily ever after….GAG.

I propped my feet on the edge of the table, leaned my head back, and grinned to myself. The night didn't go exactly as planned, but hey, this worked. Well…sort of.

I glanced at Freddie out of the corner of my eye. He was staring right at me.

"What?!" I snapped, trying to make him jump.

But he didn't' flinch. He didn't squirm. He did none of that. He smirked…at me! Of all people he would smirk at I never thought it would be me.

"You planned this," he said, the smirk still plastered on his face.

"Why would I plan this?"

"Because you like me."

"Who said I like you? Maybe I hate you!"

His eyebrows knitted into angry knots. "Well, maybe I hate you too!"

"Well, I hate you more!"

"No one could hate more than my hate for you."

"Well, I just might hate you so much that…I love you!" I yelled forcefully. Whoa, where did that come from?

"What?" he asked shocked. Hey, I was just as shocked as he was.

"Yeah, maybe I love you," I said with a little more confidence. "And believe me I'm just as shocked as you are."

"Sam…" Then he got up from his chair, leaned over me, and then he did the un-thinkable…he kissed me. I kissed him back, my eyelids slowly closing, taking it all in. I had missed this. I had missed him. He pulled back, his chocolate brown eyes staring into mine. "I love you too."

Now you would think any other girl's heart would jump into their throat. Sadly, I have to admit, it did just that.

I grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him forward, placing my lips on his. While we were kissing I heard applauding and whistling arouse in the restaurant. I pulled away from the kiss and looked around, realizing the applauding and whistling was for us.

"Aw, shut up, and mind your own business," I snapped at them all. I'm pretty sure they got the message because a second later they were all cowering over their overly large salads.

"Same old Sam," Freddie stated, widely grinning.

"Get use to it." Then I kissed him, the dork that I love.

And that was it. I am so glad all that drama's over. It was _so_ tiring. All I know is that I'm glad I got the dork. Speaking of which, I also didn't get to finish my overly large salad because of the drama. It's okay. I got an overly large container to hold my overly large salad so I could bring it home. I think I'm going to have some. Be right back. Okay, I'm back with the salad. Oh my gosh, it is so good. But I am so tired. I don't know if I'll be able to…


	13. Someone's Getting Their Kumupits

**(Not taken place in Sam's diary. I wonder….)**

I leaned against the lockers, eating my stroganoff thoughtfully which had been heated up in my personal microwave. My eyes widened when Carly run up to me, gasping for air, and spluttering non-sense words.

"Slow down, Carls! Don't get your girly panties in a bunch," I teased mildly.

I waited patiently as she took a deep breath. "Take a look at this!" And then she thrust a piece of pink paper in my face. I snatched it out of her hand and said, "What is…" but before I could finish my sentence I knew exactly what it was. It was a copy and not just a copy of anything. It was a copy of my diary!

"What…how…who…huh?!" I stuttered uncontrollably.

"I don't know, but there are flyers like these all over the school!" Carly said, pointing at the colorful pieces of paper on the wall across from us. Now you think I would have noticed this, but, you see, I don't like reading, so I'm not going to stop and read some stupid flyer. However, this particular flyer wasn't stupid. It was my deepest secrets and thoughts.

"Who did this?!" I yelled at people passing us by. "'Cause whoever did this I'm going to kick your…"

Carly put her hand over my mouth before I could start saying any naughty words. She pulled me into the bathroom nearest and un-covered my mouth.

"Don't get too angry, Sam, the teachers might hear you," my friend warned.

"I don't care! I just want to find out who did this!" I let out an angry sigh and felt my warm face. No one was ever supposed to find out about my diary other then Carly and Freddie. Now it's all over the school. How worse could this get?!

"Well, who do you think did it?" she asked, studying the pink flyer. "Wait…it makes you smirk when I get jealous?!" Carly asked, infuriated, pointing at the one faulty line I wrote in my diary when I had just gotten use to having a diary.

"I mean, you never get jealous and…oh, whatever! We just need to find out who put these flyers up," I said, changing the subject.

Carly just rolled her eyes and said, "Well, what about Reuben? Do you think he could have gotten jealous and put these up?"

"One: He's totally happy with the next Paris Hilton. Two: He's too stupid to know how to work a computer."

"Not Valerie?" Carly asked, hopefully. I loved Carly. She could be awesome. Always trying to figure out who loved me or who hurt me.

"No, same thing. She's totally psyched to be with the next Waldo."

"Well, who else has anything against you?"

"Well, Gibby, for physically hurting him for so many years…" I paused, looking up to meet Carly's eyes. I could tell she was thinking the same thing.

"You don't think…"

"I don't know. I mean, I did prank him last week, but…"

"No," she said in disbelief.

"Maybe…"

I pinned Fredison against the lockers, my nose centimeters apart from his, staring angrily into his frightened deep brown eyes.

"Did you put up those flyers, Frederly? Because if you did I swear that is the lowest thing anyone could do."

"I swear, Sam, I didn't do it! I love you! I would never do such a horrible thing to you!"

I looked harder into his eyes. He was telling the truth, I could tell. I dropped him to the floor and stared sadly at the floor. "Who else could have done it, though?" I wondered aloud.

"I don't know, but we'll find out, Sam," Freddie said softly, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"You know what the worst part is?"

"What?"

"I don't have my diary to write in about this," I said, defeated. Freddie wrapped me in his arms and I laid my head on his shoulder, crying my eyes out. He rocked me back and forth, saying soothing words in my ear. People looked at us as they walked by, but I didn't care. I just wanted my diary back. My good 'ol loyal diary.

"Whoever did it is going to get their kumupits," I sobbed into Freddie's shirt.

Who could have done such a horrible thing? Who had found out about my diary? And my last question that's been bugging me is…where the heck is my diary?!

**Who could have stolen Sam's diary?! It's up to you to decide...but I already know who. Take a guess! Next chapter should be up soon!**


	14. Evil Plans of a Haberdashery Man

So, I am really ticked off right now. My diary's gone and not only that, but Carly doesn't have any ham in her fridge. I think everything just got worse. Carly, Freddie, and I are all sitting around the kitchen table, thinking to ourselves. I wish I had a diary to think in…that's where I do all my thinking. Well, I'm mostly wondering who stole my diary. They had to be smart to find my diary and pretty smart with the computer too. I mean, I hid my diary under my mom's fat cat, Buddha. He wasn't a very nice cat which is why I'm surprised someone could get the diary out from under his belly without getting clawed to death.

Anyway, I'm getting really depressed right now. I can't think of anyone to steal my diary.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Carly said, jumping out of her chair.

"I'm not waiting a minute so just spit it out, kid," I said, mildly interested in what she had to say.

"You said Gibby had stuff against you, right?"

"Right…" Where was she going with this?

"Well, I know he's not smart with the computer and all, but what if someone else got him to put those flyers up? Isn't he on that lame committee that meets up in the janitor's closet every Friday after school?"

"Oh yeah, the "Colored Flyers Committee," Freddie chimed in.

"What a nub," I stated with a roll of my eyes.

"Very nubbish," Freddie agreed.

"Did you know that one time he…"

"You guys!" Carly yelled angrily, grabbing our attention.

"Sorry," we mumbled in unison.

Carly rolled her eyes, but continued talking. "But honestly, don't you think he could have had something to do with your missing diary?"

"If he did I swear I'll murder that nub," I said, my hand tightening into a fist.

"Calm down, Sam. We don't know if he did anything. We can ask him tomorrow at school," Freddie said soothingly.

I nodded my head, but on the inside I knew he wouldn't tell the truth if we just simply asked him. I'm bringing my buttered sock, I thought to myself.

The next day I jumped out of bed and put on my clothes in a flash. I didn't put on any make-up or brush my hair to look even more menacing. I grabbed a pound of ham, eating it quickly and ferociously, so I could have protein for what was about to happen. Before I headed out the door I stuffed my buttered sock deep into my book bag and patted it affectionately. It was going to have some pretty good action this afternoon.

I tapped my fingers impatiently on the top of my desk, boring holes into the clock ticking above the chalkboard. It was almost time for lunch, but I wasn't anxious to eat food. I was anxious to get a hold of Gibby. That nub. If he actually stole my diary he was getting a face full of the buttered sock.

After what seemed like an eternity the bell rang, signaling lunch time, but to me it was signaling "Kill Gibby Time." I marched down the hallway and into the cafeteria, threatening people along the way they were going to get a mouthful of fist if they didn't move. I eventually made my way to Gibby, towering above him, my shadow consuming him. I knew he knew I was there, but he didn't move a muscle. I heard Carly and Freddie screaming, "No, Sam, don't!" But I did it anyway. I grabbed him by the back of his neck and turned him around to face me. I then grabbed a handful of his shirt collar in both of my fists, lifting him off the ground, glaring into his eyes.

"I know you have something to do with those flyers, Gibson, so you better tell me who did it and where my diary is or else you'll get a face full of my buttered sock," I whispered hotly. His blue eyes were covered with fright. I inwardly smiled smugly. Yeah, that's right, be scared. You stole my diary and all you did was use your nubbish committee to post it all over the school. You should be scared, I thought.

"I-I did-didn't steal your dia-diary. I-I ju-just did it for the money. I'm so-sorry. Please don't hu-hurt me," Gibby stammered, his eyes pleading for mercy.

"Tell me who did it and I just _might _not hurt you," I growled, not letting my guard down.

"It was Ne-Nevel Pa-pa-papperman."

Nevel Papperman! That nub! I hated him so much! He's stolen iCarly from us-twice! Now what made him think he could post my diary all over school?! How could that do him any good?! If he was scared of me I would totally knock him unconscious, but sadly enough, he's not.

I loosened my grip on Gibby's shirt and in the back of my head wondered why he was wearing a shirt. I shook that thought out of my head and dropped him to the ground. He scrambled up off the floor and ran off like the speed of lightening.

"For future reference, Gibson, I suggest you don't wear a shirt to school anymore," I yelled after him. I turned around to see the entire high school body staring at me with frightened yet highly interested looks.

"Get lost!" I screamed at them. They scattered away immediately. I flipped my golden locks and furrowed my eyebrows, thinking hard. Now why would Nevel want to steal my diary? Before I could think any further Carly and Freddie ran up to me with interested and slightly worried looks.

"Well?" Carly inquired.

"What did you find out?" Freddie asked anxiously.

"Well, Gibby did put up the flyers, but you'll never guess who paid him to do it."

I watched Carly and Freddie look skyward, toward the ceiling, thinking hard. Then they each exchanged a look and asked in unison, "Nevel Papperman?"

"Ok, maybe you can guess."

"That nub! Why would he want to post your diary all over the school?" Carly wondered aloud.

"I don't know, but I'm going to find out," I stated, heading toward the library, Freddie and Carly following suit.

I don't know what that nub was up to, but I was going to find out. That haberdashery man has a mind full of evil plans…and I was going to find out why my diary was one of them.

**I know this one's short, but I felt like I needed you to hang a little bit. I know you guys hate that I do short chapters, but my mind can only take so much! Next chapter should be up within a week! Hope ya'll enjoyed it!**


	15. To Kiss a Nub or Not Kiss a Nub

**A/N: Sorry for the wait! My grandma's been in the hospital, but she's been doing better! Anyway, here's the rest of the story…I also have some ideas for a sequel if anyone is interested, but I still have a few more chapters for this story. Ok, so this has pretty much been a pointless author's note so I'll get on with the story…**

I stared at the computer screen in front of me, the glow illuminating my entire face. I could feel my two loyal friends hovering over me, staring at the computer screen as well.

"Well…" I heard Freddie say from behind me, his breath tickling my ear.

"Are you going to do it or what?" Carly asked, her pinacolada lip gloss filling my nose. Dang, how close were they?!

"I would if you two would back off," I hissed.

I could tell they backed off because I could no longer hear heavy breathing right in my ear. I rolled my eyes and began typing in my e-mail address in the instant messaging box.

SamLovesHam

Password: mamaplaystowin

I scanned through my list of contacts and spotted that the one person who was about to get strangled was online. Now you might wonder why Nevel Papperman was on my contact list. Well, I liked threatening him on a daily basis even though the majority of the time he never seemed threatened. I really should delete him, but right now he was going to get the bad side of Sam Puckett.

I clicked on his screen name, NevelhatesiCarlybutlovesCarlyShay, and switched the web-cam on. His ugly face popped up on the screen, making me want to punch it, but I fought the urge to do so, knowing it would gain me nothing.

"Ah, Samantha Puckett, I had a feeling you'd be on," he said, his girlish voice slithering through the speakers.

"You better not call me Samantha, Papperman, because you already got a lot coming your way," I said through gritted teeth.

"Ah, ah, ah, Sam, no need to get feisty. You know where that gets you."

"Yeah, my foot in your butt," I growled.

He let out a loud guffaw making me want to punch him even more.

"Oh, Sam, you never cease to amuse me."

"You better tell me where my diary is, Papperman, or you will be _very _amused tomorrow when I kick your butt," I said, my face turning beet red.

"Now that wouldn't be a very good idea since I can do anything I want with your diary. _Anything_. And if you try to hurt me in any way I can hurt you in any way by posting your diary all over the internet," he said, an evil smile playing upon his lips.

"What do you want, Nevel?"

"A kiss is what I seek. A kiss from Carly Shay, but, no, not on the cheek." Uh, he could be so annoying! Why did he have to rhyme?! Was there really any need for that???

"We've been through this before, Nevel, what makes you think you can get a kiss from Carly now?"

"Because I know one of the dearest things to her is her friends and if I hurt one of her friends she would be devastated. She wouldn't want her best friend to be mortified and mocked by America, now would she?" His evil smile was fully displayed now and I didn't like it one bit. I wanted to smack the nub.

I didn't want my friend to kiss such a nub, but I also didn't want my diary to be spread all over the internet. Before I could even fully comprehend everything Carly made the decision for us both.

"Okay, fine, I'll kiss you!" Carly blurted from behind me.

I turned around in my chair, looking up at my friend. "Carly, I can't make you kiss that nub! Your lips might fall off!"

"Hey!" I heard Nevel protest, but I ignored him.

"I rather that then have my best friend's secrets all over the internet. What kind of friend would I be if I did that?" She moved forward to place her face in front of the web-cam. "Fine, Nevel, I'll kiss you. Meet me behind the Groovy Smoothie at 8 o'clock tomorrow. You better come with Sam's diary."

We watched him clap his hands excitedly, a girlish squeal escaping from his lips. "You won't be disappointed, Carly Shay," he said, puckering out his lips, moving them up and down. I gagged outwardly and quickly closed the screen, saving us from seeing anymore of…that.

I turned to look at Carly. "I can't believe you're doing this," I stated.

"Well, do you want your diary all over the World Wide Web?"

"Well, no, but…hey, I have an idea," I said, smiling wickedly, raising my eyebrows mischievously. My brain had just hatched an idea and for once it was pretty good.

"Do you think it will work?" Freddie asked, unsure.

"Of course it will work! It's _flawless_!" I said, stretching out the last word for emphasis.

"Okay, so we're all in?" Carly asked.

Freddie was about to question the plan again, but I gave him a look that said if he didn't I was going to give him a serious wedgie. He quickly shut his mouth. I smiled, satisfied.

"Good, so we're all in." I put my hand in the middle of our group, Carly and Freddie following suit. We threw our hands up in the air, letting out a loud cheer. I was sure of this plan. It was _flawless_ like I said before. I smiled evilly. I couldn't wait to see Nevel get his comeuppance.

"So he's going to be here?" Carly questioned.

"Yep, he's on his way. He said he should be here any minute." I assured her.

"What time is it?" Carly asked.

"It's 7:54," Freddie replied, checking his watch.

"This is going to be great," I said, rubbing my hands together.

We spotted Nevel coming our way so Freddie and I scurried behind the dumpster. I was starting to worry. The person we were waiting for hadn't shown up yet. What if the plan blew up in my face? I listened closely to Nevel and Carly's conversation.

"You got the diary?"

"You got your lips ready?" I gagged. I pictured Carly rolling her eyes. I'm pretty sure she was resisting gagging too.

"Give me the diary before I kiss you."

"You don't trust me?"

I figured Carly was giving him a pointed look.

"Smart girl…but last time you used a rope to hoist you up and crawl through a window. You might pull another stunt. Boys…" he called out, clicking his fingers. Two large men came out of no where, blocking all exits.

"Them again?"

"Of course."

"You don't trust me?"

"No."

"Smart boy."

My heart rate was quickening. Where was he?! Before I could worry anymore I was consumed by a shadow. I smirked. This was going to be good.

"Ok, so here I go…" Carly said, trying to stall. She probably thought he wasn't here.

I peeked over the dumpster. Carly was slowly moving in, her eyes shut tight, as if she didn't want to see what was about to happen. Nevel's lips were poked out like a catfish. I was sure he was completely psyched for this. Too bad it was going to end so soon.

Freddie and I headed in first. Freddie snatched the diary from Nevel's hand, giving me the go. I jumped on top of Nevel, wrapping my arm around his neck.

"Boys!" he managed to choke out.

I squeezed his throat harder, disapprovingly spluttering back. His boys were moving forward, cracking their knuckles, but I knew he was coming.

He came out from behind the dumpster, towering above Nevel's henchmen. His muscles flexed, making him look even more threatening.

"Now you wouldn't want to hurt these innocent kids, would you? Because if you knew what I was going to do I'm sure you'd think twice," Jackson Colt said his voice deep and gruff.

I watched them, their eyes widening in fright. They where out of there like the speed of lightening. I let go of Nevel, letting him collapse to the ground, gasping for air.

"That's what you get when you try to steal my best friend's diary," Carly said with a confident smile.

"Yeah, and that's what you get when you try to kiss my best friend," I said, grinning smugly down at Nevel.

He pushed himself off the ground, brushing the dust off his pants. "You will rue this day, Sam Puckett, you will rue it!" he said, pointing a finger at me.

Jackson stepped forward, flexing his muscles. "I don't know if you'll want to rue anything, Nevel Papperman," he growled, cracking his knuckles.

"I'll own a haberdashery one day and you guys won't ever be allowed in. _Never_!" he screamed before running off.

"Thank God!" I yelled after him.

We all high-fived, ecstatic to get rid of Nevel. I was mostly happy to have my diary back. I hugged it close to my body, never wanting to let it go.

"Now who wants a smoothie?!" Carly shouted.

I was in the Groovy Smoothie, sipping a Blueberry Blitz before any of them had a chance to reply.

**A/N: Okay, now I'm thinking this was a pretty boring chapter and if so, I'm sorry. I was kind of hesitant writing this one. I feel like I haven't been doing too well…and I know this sounds needy, but I haven't been getting a lot of reviews which makes me kinda sad. So, a confident boost would be nice… Reviews are appreciated though, even criticism…but don't be too harsh.**


	16. Reuniting With the Diary

Oh, diary, I could kiss you! Okay, not really, because that would be really weird, but I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so glad you're back! Now I can write in you again! I'm so sorry what that haberdashery man did to you. He is very evil. But everything's back to normal now. Freddie and I are still dating, Carly and I are still great friends, Spencer's still, well, you know, him, I have you back, _and _I'm eating ham. Yep, nothing could get better than this. You should have seen how we showed Nevel that he couldn't mess with Carly, me, or my diary. Especially my diary. Sigh. I have to go. Carly's nagging me to get upstairs to start iCarly with her. Oh well, I'll write in you soon!

P.S I just kissed you and now Carly's looking at me with wide eyes as if I'm crazy. Oh well.

**A/N: Okay, so no Seddie in this chapter, but if you look in the next chapter that I'm putting up in a few hours there should be a lot of juicy Seddie. I kept this one short because this was just going to be her reuniting with her diary.**


	17. Five Years From Then

**A/N: So, like I said this is going to be a Seddie chapter…but this takes place when they're 19. Carly goes to Yale and Sam and Freddie both go to Columbia University in New York. I hope you all enjoy it!**

What's a happening, diary?! Can you believe I still use the same greeting I used five years ago? Wow, it doesn't even seem that long ago.

Anyway, I'm here in my dorm with my roommate, Sylvia, and she's just rambling on and on about how well she did in her class today. Her speech apparently went well and Mr. Wilson praised her over and over on how well she did. Honestly, I just think he's praising her for her big chest and curvy body which she so disgustingly compliments it with tight mini skirts and see-through blouses. She kind of reminds me of Valerie except for the fact that she's really smart. I wonder where that tramp is now. She's probably working at the Groovy Smoothie as a restroom attendant. Aw, man, do I miss their smoothies!

Anyway, my writing professor, Mr. Rawlins, says I did really well on my poem we were supposed to write. I titled it _Infatuation vs. Love. _You would not believe how long it took me to write that thing, but all in the end I think I did a good job. I cannot wait until we get to the part in our class where we get to write practically anything. I want to write a comedy play. I like laughing…good for the human heart.

Speaking of comedy, I miss iCarly. We ended it after graduation. We all cried our eyes out after our last show. I remember all those fun rehearsals and afterward we would plop down in the bean bag chairs and munch on popcorn. I remember after I would wear myself out from Random Dancing we would all head over to the Groovy Smoothie and sip our drinks peacefully. I miss those days; they were so simple, so carefree.

Carly and I are still good friends. We talk on the phone and e-mail each other from time to time. Fredison and I are dating and have been for five straight years. I'm surprised I'm still dating the dork. Nah, I'm kidding, I love my dork. Speaking of which, we're going out on a date tonight at the university's café. I have a strong feeling he's going to ask me a question and you know how I hate questions. Oh well, I got to get ready for the date. Later.

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Ahhhh!!! Oh wow, I just screamed like a fan girl just there. Weird. Anyway, like I said before, OH MY GOSH! I'm engaged! I am engaged to Freddie Benson! I am engaged to a dork…my dork! Okay, so here's how it happened…

He picked me up at my dorm around 7:00 and we went to the café to get dinner. Then afterwards he suggested we take a walk. I told him if we did that he'd have to carry me back to my room. Of course, he obliged. I looked up at the beautiful night sky, the stars scattered, glistening above me, just like a mesmerizing painting. I glanced to my left where Freddie was walking. He looked nervous, fidgeting every which way and droplets of sweat forming on his forehead.

"What's the matter, dork, is your anti-bacterial underwear in a bunch again?" I said with a smirk.

"No, I don't wear those anymore," he mumbled in response.

"Oh, really? 'Cause I thought you're crazy mom sent those to you in the mail. I thought she was worried about her Fredikins," I said in a little baby voice, poking out my bottom lip.

"You're ridiculous," he said with a chuckle.

"But that's why you love me," I said, slipping my hand into his. It was sweaty. "But, really, what's wrong with you? You're acting like your dog just ate your homework or something." I leaned my head on his shoulder. I love him, I do, but he knows by now I don't show my love for him through words. I do it through actions and touching.

"Really, Sam, you're ruining a big moment for me and possibly you," he said, turning on Freddie Benson seriousness mode.

"Wow, you're being serious," I said, lifting my head off his shoulder. "What's the big moment?" I asked curiously.

"Oh, crap, now I ruined it," I heard him mutter to himself. He shifted his feet and ran his fingers through his hair, opening his mouth over and over, but it took forever for him to actually say something.

"Frederly, you really just need to…"

"Just listen, okay?!" he said, raising his voice. I quickly shut my mouth. Freddie Benson never raised his voice. I listened intently.

He took a few deep breaths and started by saying, "Sam Puckett, you are the most frustrating person on the face of the earth." I knew this, but it still hurt.

He started to pace back and forth, his eyebrows furrowed. "You've made my life a living hell since I was thirteen years old by pulling pranks on me, hurting me physically and verbally, embarrassing me…even while we were dating. I don't know why I've dated you for so long."

Ouch.

He stopped pacing and looked up from the ground to meet my eyes. "But I do know why I love you."

I gulped. Where was this going?

"I love you because you make me laugh whenever I'm upset. I love you because no matter how many insults you throw my way I always know you love me when you hold my hand or kiss me. I know those words mean nothing. I love you because when I look at you and you're wearing that amazing smile of yours I know I'm the luckiest man in the world. I love you because you chose to love me back though I don't know why. I love you because you don't just consider me _a_ dork, you consider me_ your _dork." He paused and stuck his hand his pocket, searching for something. He pulled out a square box, but I couldn't make it out in the dim street light. Then he got down on one knee and it was then that I knew what he was doing. "I guess what I'm trying to say is…Sam Puckett, will you marry me?" Freddie asked, looking up into my eyes. My vision started to blur and I couldn't help the water works.

"Of course I will, dork."

He quickly stood up and wrapped me in his arms. By then we were both crying hysterically, letting the happy tears roll freely down our cheeks. Then we kissed softly and I could taste his salty yet sweet tears on the tip of my tongue. I didn't know what could be better than this.

"I love you," I mumbled into the kiss.

"I love you too, Sam Puckett."

And that was how I, Sam Puckett got engaged to my dork, Freddie Benson. Wow, that's something I thought I'd never say.


	18. The Legacy Goes On

**A/N: I am so very sorry, but I think I'm going to disappoint some of my readers so brace yourselves. I am not going to write the wedding. So very sorry for those who wanted it, but I really want to end this story and I don't really think a wedding is necessary. Maybe in the eyes of us Seddie readers, but even I don't think it's necessary for my story so that has to be saying a little something. Anyway, I have more disappointing news. I am ending the story with this chapter. I might do a sequel though I don't know if anyone would want to read a fanfic about Sam's daughter. Anyway, it's time to read the story. So read it, savor it, worship it (if you'd like), and then last but not least, review it. Thank you to all my readers for encouraging me to keep doing this story! I really did enjoy writing it. Anyway….on with the show!**

Sam loved her diary. She didn't just write in it; she cherished it. It was like a close friend to her. She told the diary everything from how she was ticked at her teacher Ms. Briggs to the hardest trials in her life. She would love the rush she would get when she picked up her pen and wrote vividly on the pages below. Maybe that's why she became a writer for a children's TV show. Or maybe it was because she knew that diary was the only thing she could entrust her secrets with.

But somewhere along the way Sam didn't have time to write in such a silly thing such as a diary. At least, that's what she thought after she got married and got her first real job. So, it got tucked away deep in the corner of the Benson's attic, laying still in the cedar chest, waiting for it's companion's return.

Days became weeks, and then months became years, yet there was still no sign of the diary's beloved owner.

Little did that diary know that Sam Benson had a daughter. Yes, she had a daughter and her name was Alexandria although she very much preferred to be called Alex. Her looks came from her father, but she was the spitting image of her mother. The only thing that let you know that Alex Benson and Sam Benson were related was that both of them had unruly, bouncy locks that hung down their back. Well, we're talking about resemblance similarities here. If you got to know both of these wild women you would find out their personalities were exactly alike. Alex detested school. She also had a fiery, adolescent spirit that took her to wonderful yet frightening places. All of the wonderful things that made up Sam Benson shone through Alex.

You may think Sam let her daughter get into the same things her mother did when she was a child, but you thought wrong. No, Sam adored her daughter and sometimes she was very protective. Alex called it over-protective, but who would ever know for sure? There was another thing that was very different from Sam's relationship with her mother. Sam and her daughter fought almost constantly which could bring the house down with these two tempered personalities clashing.

So on a typical Saturday afternoon the two got into it over Alex throwing eggs on her teacher's BMW. It was harmless, Alex thought. Plus, the teacher deserved it for being such a nub. But Sam, the mother, begged to differ even though she knew she did exactly the same thing as a child. After they rant and raved, Freddie Benson peaking over the newspaper in his slightly shaking hands, Alex climbed up the attic's ladder. She liked going up there; it was a place to get away from the world…and especially her mother.

She tucked a loose curl behind her ear and let out a long sigh, slumping to the ground in the process. Alex looked out the window, the sun shining on her face, offering her to come outside. She declined. Instead she started rummaging through the cedar chest that lay deep in the corner. Sometimes she just liked to see if there was anything interesting in the old attic, but there usually wasn't. Her hand reached deep into the chest, searching deeper than she had ever done before. It was then that she felt warm leather touch her fingers. Alex grabbed for it and pulled. It was an effort to pull it out from under all the other junk, but she finally got it out. She studied it carefully, tracing the edges with her fingers. She immediately knew that it was some sort of journal. She slowly un-latched the latch that held it closed, revealing the first page, the first page of Sam's diary.

Although Alex did not know this as she read the first line and then the next, but after a few pages it all seemed to come together. This was her mother's diary. She closed it shut slowly but surely and tucked it underneath her jacket. She climbed back down the ladder and surprisingly made it to her room without her mother realizing. Alex plopped down on her bed, staring down at the diary before her.

"This is my mother's diary," she whispered to herself. She touched the front of it affectionately with her hand. "Now this will be mine," she declared to no one in particular.

The diary now had a new owner, yet the person seemed some-what familiar to this square book made of pages. Even to Alex the diary in her hands seemed oddly comforting. And so, the legacy went on, down to Alex Benson, daughter of Sam Benson, or better known as…Sam Puckett.


End file.
